My meaning is not found in greater purpose,
But in the leaves falling this afternoon;
Not because I'm watching the trees,
But because I am with you.
I sit here, typing, hoping that something I make will mean something.
To say that every word I type holds deeper truth is comical.
But to say that that means it means nothing at all is worse.
Most of my words may not come from the deepest crevices of my heart
But they were important enough to rip my ribcage open and tear them out for you.
So please, use the silverwear, and take a napkin.
Words are static shocks.
Jolting me, shocking me, threading me, impaling me to the present.
Or is it that they pull me away?
That, in that conversation, I am not there, because the thoughts that think and the thinking I thought was me cannot be there anymore?
Where do my thoughts go, when I am spoken to?
Do they run way, into some far off space?
Are they around the corner, watching my every move?
Or are they right behind me, and I simply cannot tell with the already heavy burden on my back?
Masks and masks.
One day, I hope, these sides will coexist at once, some day.
And for once, the spear will pierce both of us.
What are poems?
Cordinated rhymes?
Ordinated lines?
All at the right time?
Or can it be disorganized?
When are they entirely mine?
Sometimes you write a poem,
But sometimes, the poem writes itself.
im scared of hurting you
im scared I'm not worth it, i have already proven i am not worth it
im scared our clause will break
im scared like a fearing animal
why is it when people live inside my heart, that i am most prone to lashing out?
haywire claws ravished in your blood and yet you still hold onto me
i cannot understand your forgiveness, yet it exists all the same
but to not appreciate it would be far worse a sin
so i sit in your arms instead, and weep for what i have done
Stained beiged carpets print patterns upon peetering feet.
Soft overgrown lawns burn my soles but its impression is only fleeting.
To speak is to name.
To name is to define.
To define is to make meaning.
And through this, I make my own.